“My Heart Will Go On” Makes Kate Winslet Want to Throw Up: My Perspective on the Issue

[Repost from my Facebook Notes. It’s important to note that Kate Winslet’s my favorite actress of all time. I was introduced to her in Titanic, like most people, but I didn’t become a hardcore fan until I saw Eternal Sunshine in 2005. Since then, I’ve seen almost every movie she’s ever been in. That being said…]

I really don’t have time for this, but I need to take a break from work. And I fully admit that my writing style isn’t up to par with my usual work, but I’m tired and this is facebook, it doesn’t matter. You may already know what the subject is. Remember that article from a few weeks ago about how that Celine Dion Titanic song makes Kate Winslet want to throw up? I’ve been wanting to share my opinions on that for a while now, especially since people have been coming out of the woodwork and criticizing Kate for those remarks. I want to look at this from a different perspective. Brace yourself, a long opinion is coming:

On the set of Titanic, James Cameron was adamant about Kate not wearing a wetsuit underneath her dress b/c it would “show through the chiffon,” which… no it wouldn’t have, there were a number of different ways to get around that if it really was an issue. Anyway, as a result of Kate not wearing a wetsuit, she was subjected to freezing cold Pacific Ocean (yes, Pacific) water and got a bad case of pneumonia.

In addition to that, Kate almost drowned while filming one of the scenes. Supposedly the coat she was wearing got caught on one of the gates and the water just kept rising and rising and she couldn’t get out. Once it was apparent that she was in danger, James Cameron cut the scene and gave her ONE MINUTE to compose herself. She apparently spent that minute sobbing. To reiterate: SHE ALMOST DROWNED.

She also slipped on the set and chipped her elbow bone. Not as bad as the previous examples, but still rather unpleasant to deal with.

Oh, and my “favorite” one? James Cameron constantly bullied Kate about her weight. He nicknamed her “Kate Weighs-a-Lot” and wouldn’t shut up about how fat she was. Which…YOU MOTHERFU- no Meredith, calm down, you got the point across in those 2 short sentences, no need to rant any further.

Yet through all of this, Kate still put her all into this movie. She was subjected to physical and mental torment for months on end, yet she stuck with it and her performance was fantastic (she was robbed of an Oscar BTW, but don’t get me started on that, DO NOT get me started on that.)

So why am I bringing up all of these instances? Because Kate Winslet was subjected to a lot of bullshit throughout the making of this movie, so I wholeheartedly believe that this GIVES HER THE RIGHT to say whatever she wants about any aspect of Titanic. Whether it be the song, the movie itself, anything, she’s earned the right to complain. If I were her, I’d get sick of the song too.

And to all the people who are saying that Celine Dion is the reason that the movie is famous and that Kate’s movie career wouldn’t have gotten off the ground if it hadn’t been for that song: what a load of bullshit. First of all, her movie career was doing great even before Titanic. She was in movies like Heavenly Creatures, Jude, Hamlet, AND she was nominated for an Oscar for Sense and Sensibility. Even if she had never been in Titanic, her movie career would have been fine IMHO. Obviously she wouldn’t be as well known as she is now if it wasn’t for Titanic, AND Titanic is the reason why she has creative freedom in regard to all of the roles she’s chosen since the film was released. I mean, she admits that herself. But that doesn’t change the fact that she still had a very respectable resume before Titanic and I personally think that she still would have been successful even if she was never in the movie (there’s something else related to this that I’m dying to go into, but I’d go too far off-topic. What I’m thinking of may have to be turned into a proper essay…)

Second of all, that song is NOT the only reason why Titanic was successful. Yes, it added to the success of the movie, but the movie was also successful because of the story, special effects, and the ACTING. Like I said before (did I say it before, hell I don’t know,) Kate is a brilliant actress. KATE WINSLET IS ANOTHER REASON WHY THE MOVIE WAS SO SUCCESSFUL. NOT JUST THE CELINE DION SONG. GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE GODDAMMIT.

Basically I’m trying to say this: With everything Kate Winslet had to put up with in regards to Titanic, I firmly believe that she can say whatever the fuck she wants. She’s also earned the right to say what she wants b/c she was a major reason for the movie’s success, not just the song. THERE I’M DONE Thank you and have a good night.

…You thought I was only a nerd about video games and cartoons didn’t you? I’ve had a very deep love and respect for this woman for years, and as a result, I know way more about Kate Winslet than you think…

Endnote: Also, y’know how she said something in the interview like “whenever I’m on a boat, I always say, ‘OK, I know what’s gonna happen. If you have any jokes, get them out of your system now.” If I’m ever lucky enough to be on a boat with her, I’d ask “Is it OK to make jokes about your other movies as long as they’re not about Titanic?” I’d then proceed to quote something really esoteric from Iris. Or I’d tell everyone how I believe Titanic and Revolutionary Road are related with my alternate universe theory. That would depress everyone to the point of never wanting to make a Titanic joke again (I might tell you my theory in a later post…)

Brace Yourselves, New Posts are Coming

So I haven’t updated in a while. But I realized recently that I really do need a blog. I have so many thoughts/opinions/rants/etc. that I want to write about and I don’t think Facebook is the best place for some of my longer thoughts (and even though people have told me that they love my posts, there may be others I’m annoying, so I’m gonna lay low for a bit.)

So yeah. WittyVitale’s back. Once the semester’s over (Thursday,) I’m gonna be posting like nuts.

In Which a Self-Insertion Goes Horribly Wrong (and Stupid)

I know I haven’t updated in months, so let’s change that🙂 I did some digging in my room the other day and found an old fanfic. It was based off the game Skies of Arcadia and I wrote it when I was 14. It’s a piece of crap.

The writing style is terrible and the plot doesn’t even make sense. See, the official title of my fic was Skies of Arcadia People Go to NYC!! Basically, the 3 main characters get transported to NYC and have crazy-ass adventures. But then it switches to 14-year-old me in my room, writing the exact same fanfic (kinda like The Neverending Story, but not.) Well, long story short, the 5 Valuan Admirals crash my room, throw me out, and take over my fanfic. For the rest of the story, it’s up to 14-year-old Meredith to reclaim her house and fanfic.

So I decided to take a few snippets from the fic and post them here. WARNING, the fic is not well-written and kinda stupid, so read at your own risk (if you care or are just plain bored.) And you don’t really need to know the characters to read this, seeing as it’s not canon at all and takes place in another world. In the words of Aika when she throws her boomerang, “Here goes!”:

Meanwhile, while Meredith was writing this exact story on her laptop in her room, 5 people suddenly crashed through the window. It was the 5 Valuan admirals!

“OK, what are you freaks doing in my room?” asked Meredith.

“You know exactly why we’re in your room!” said De Loco.

“No, I really don’t.”

“Tell her, Belleza!”

Belleza steps up.

“Well, Meredith, we came here so we can have a part in your fanfic.” she said.

“Well, couldn’t you have at least used the door so you could tell me that?”

“No, no we couldn’t. So, do we have parts in your fanfic?”

“What exactly do you want me to put in this fanfic?”

Meredith was immediately pelted with suggestions.

“I want to kill Vyse!”

“I want to ram my ship into something!”

“I want a sex scene with Aika!”

“I want to flick my hair back 100 times!”

“I want a sex scene with Vyse!”

Meredith thought about it for a second and finally came up with an answer.

“No, no, no, no, and no! Those suggestions suck.”

“Even my sex scene with Aika?” asked Vigoro.

“Especially your sex scene with Aika! I talked to her about you last week, and I can assure you that she does not want a sex scene with you!”

(Cuts to a scene with Mer and Aika talking)

“So.”

“So.”

“Hey Mer, want a cigarette?”

“No thanx.”

(Scene ends)

“…OK, that wasn’t it, but seriously, I’m not putting that scene or any other of those scenes in this story.”

“Well then, we’ll have to do this the hard way, now don’t we?” asked Alfonso.

“Uhhh, what?”

“COME ANTONIO!!!!”

“NO, NOT ANTONIO!!!”

The giant metal bull suddenly came into Mer’s room.

“ANTONIO, DISPOSE OF HER!!!”

Antonio started charging at Mer, but she jumped out the window before it hit her. When she was outside, she said, “Oh god! There’re Valuans in my room! Touching my stuff, messing up my fanfic! I’ve gotta get back inside!”

<SNIP>

“Damn! They locked me out of my own house,” said Meredith. “I guess the only way back in is by going through the window!” So Meredith started climbing on the side of the house to get to her window.

<SNIP>

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I’VE FINALLY KILLED HIM!!! YES!!!” screamed De Loco.

“That’s enough of that!” said Gregorio. “It’s my turn now!”

Just as he said that, Meredith came through the window holding a sword she found lying on the ground outside. She pointed it at the admirals and said, “Get out of my room, Valuan scum!”

“Don’t be so dramatic!” said De Loco.

“Screw you!”

“YOU SCREW YOU!!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this.” Belleza whispered to the other admirals. She started to walk toward Mer. “Look, Mer,” she started. “If you let us write this fanfic, we’ll make it worth your while.”

“Whadda have in mind?” asked Mer.

“If you let us finish the fanfic, we’ll make you the sixth admiral of the Valuan Armada! We’ve been needing a sixth one since Ramirez quit.”

Mer thought about it for a sec.

“Hmmmmmmmmmmm, maybe I should… wait, WHY AM I EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS?!?! I HATE VALUA!!!!! YOU PEOPLE SUCK!!!!! I’M NOT GONNA BE YOUR SIXTH ADMIRAL!!!!” screamed Mer.

“OK,” said Belleza. “I respect your opin….NOW! NOW!!”

Before Mer knew what was going on, all the admirals got on top of her, tied her up, and stuffed her under the bed.

“Finally, I can type my portion of the fanfic.” said Gregorio, and that’s exactly what he did.

/END FOR NOW

There is more to this, but my eyes hurt, so I might get it up later (thatswhatshesaid.) See ya!

Last Semester At College Starts Sunday

Oh boy, I have a doctor’s appointment and a haircut tomorrow, so I’ll try to keep this short.

So I go back to college this Sunday. As a Senior 2. Holy shit, that’s terrifying. I have A LOT to do before I graduate. I have to write roughly 60 more pages and edit the 40 I’ve already written. I’m panicking a bit, but I know I’ll get it done. Seniors are graded with progress grades at my school (S, S-, and U, with S being the highest.) I took 3 courses for my senior project and got S’s in all of them, so I know I shouldn’t be worried. And my profs keep telling me that they think I’m doing fine. I’m still really worried though. I didn’t get as much done as I wanted to over break and I still have A LOT to do. And I want to make it really good. But I just gotta keep telling myself that it’ll happen. And I gotta calm down. I have the tendency to freeze and do nothing  whenever I get too nervous. Can’t afford to do that now. It’ll be fine, I know it will, I have to tell myself that enough times and then I’ll believe it.

BTW, sorry that Ghostbusters Christmas post never showed up. I might still finish it, but more realistically, I’ll probably wait until next Christmas. I’m exhausted, going to bed now, g’night! And I just realized that this is my first post of 2010, so Happy New Year everyone!!

The Smurfs Christmas Special (1982)

Just as a note, instead of using profanity, I will use the word “smurf” (most of the time at least.) That being said:

So I was on Facebook Saturday night, sitting on my couch with the TV on in the background. Cartoon Network’s cousin, Boomerang, was having a Christmas special marathon. Being a lover of old school Christmas specials, I kept the TV on Boomerang. At one point, the 1982 Smurfs Christmas Special came on. That was one of the few vintage Christmas specials that I had never seen so I decided to half-watch it. And in all honesty, I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing this special. Here’s my version of what happened:

So it’s Christmas Eve and a little a boy and girl are traveling with their grandfather in a one horse open sleigh. They’re going to visit their rich uncle in his mansion. D’awww, it’s so sweet at first; the children ask their grandpa if Santa really exists and he says yes and they’re all so happy and joyful. And then ZOMG this dark-hooded figure is seen watching the sleigh from the woods. This creepy guy has a pack of wolves at his side, which he sicks on the sleigh. The sleigh turns over and grandpa is stuck underneath, completely unconscious.

That’s an actual picture of semi-dead grandpa trapped under the sleigh. God smurfing smurf it, I thought this was supposed to be a smurfing children’s cartoon! But no, wait for it, this gets much worse.

So these poor kids are sad and scared and go looking for help. They come upon Gargamel, the series resident douchebag, and ask him for assistance. But Gargamel sends them away because he’s too busy trying to find a way to destroy the smurfs. So the kids leave and a wolf follows them. Suddenly, the whole wolf pack backs the kids up against a tree and surrounds them. Scary death music is playing in the background and the little girl starts singing “Silent Night.” That was the first time I looked up from facebook; it sounded really disturbing.

Luckily, Papa Smurf comes to the rescue!! He basically tells the wolves to smurf off and, I smurf you not, the wolves actually listen to him!! The kids think Papa Smurf is Santa Claus, so they automatically trust him. They tell him about their grandpa and ask for help. Smurf it, if I were lost in the woods and I saw tiny blue creatures, I’d think I was suffering from the effects of some hallucinogenic drug. It would make sense, their houses are allusions to weed… Anyway, the smurfs help the children and sing a song about goodness making the badness go away (more info on this later.) The smurfs find the overturned sleigh, and instead of finding grandpa, they find a note. The note is from the kids’ uncle; apparently grandpa is okay and the children are directed to stay by the sleigh until their uncle comes to get them.

Meanwhile, that same mysterious figure from the forest enters Gargamel’s castle. He tells Gargamel that he can give him the power to destroy the smurfs. However, Gargamel must first find the children and bring them to this “mysterious stranger” as he is referred to. This stranger seeks revenge against the kids’ uncle and grandfather; apparently they’re do-gooders who get in the way of his “work.”

For the love of… ugh, this is only going to get worse. Gargamel complies and kidnaps the children while they’re waiting by the sled. The smurfs follow the tracks in an attempt to save the children. While they’re doing that, Gargamel uses the spell that the stranger gave him and destroys the Smurf village.

OK, here’s where it gets REALLY sick: The mysterious stranger tied the kids up and he’s dragging them across the snow. Gargamel and Azrael are following close behind. The kids complain of being tired and that they can’t walk anymore. The stranger says that’s okay and that this place will do nicely. OK, this is where you really start to realize that something’s smurfed up here. Just read the following dialogue:

Stranger (to Gargamel): You will accompany me and the children on what I regard as… The Final Journey.

Me: *looks up from laptop*

Little Girl: You said no more walking.

S: We won’t be walking, my dear child.

Gargamel: W-w-where are you taking us?

S: Home! MY Home!! I’m quite sure you’ll like it.

Me: Whoa, wait a second here…

*Gargamel runs*

S: NO ONE LEAVES UNTIL AFTER THE CEREMONY!!

And then this happens:

Me: O_O You have got to be kidding me…

LG: Please!! You’re scaring me!!

^(Just look at the creepy son on a smurf)

S *chanting* Fire Fire burning bright, bring us home this very night!!

LG: Stop, please stop!!

Back to post form: I think it’s obvious now. This guy is the Devil himself. Satan. Lucifer. The Fallen Angel. THIS GUY IS SMURFING SATAN!!! IN A CHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS CARTOON! HE’S TRYING TO BRING LITTLE CHILDREN TO HELL ON CHRISTMAS EVE!! WHAT THE SMURF KIND OF PLOT FOR A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL IS THIS?!?! I MEAN, MY GOD!!!! These kids are going to spend a smurf ton of money on therapy for the PTSD they’re going to have…

Anyway, the Smurfs are looking on from a nearby hill, wondering what they can do to help. Papa Smurf says that the only thing that will destroy hate is love. So the smurfs are told to sing!! Sing with smurfing love in their hearts!!

Goodness makes the badness go away!

Goodness makes the happy every day!

Badness cannot start

If there’s goodness in your heart!

Goodness makes the badness go away!


This is bad. This is really bad. I mean, the Smurfs are battling Satan for Christ’s sake! Do you know how serious this is?! It’s so serious that smurfing GARGAMEL starts singing the goodness song!! He’s the main villain of the series and he’s terrified of this “mysterious stranger,” who, btw, is SATAN.The fact that Gargamel is terrified enough to sing a song about goodness  proves that this guy is the Devil.

Anyway, the smurfs, good little Christian warriors that they are, destroy Satan with their song. Imagine that; the products of hallucinogens defeating Satan. When the Rapture happens and most of us are left behind, we can just shoot ourselves up with smurfing ecstasy and smoke pot until the Smurfs show up. They will then sing their Sesame Street-esque motivational song and defeat Satan. At least we got that from this special. God smurf it.

After Satan fades away, the kids find their uncle, and the Smurfs return to their village only to find it destroyed. But hark! It is Christmas, the time for miracles! Now that we’ve gotten through the Satanic ritual, let’s return to old school Christmas themes shall we? One of the smurfs blows on his trumpet and suddenly, Smurf Village is restored and their Christmas tree comes back to life. Everyone’s happy. The end.

OK, I can honestly say that this was one of the most terrifying and disturbing Christmas specials I’ve ever seen. And I saw this for the very first time when I was 22!! Just a few days ago! And it STILL hasn’t left my mind!! I’m sure that this scared most kids when they saw it, simply because it does have some pretty scary scenes. But I’m sure most of them didn’t make the connection to Satan. What kind of sick fuck thought it would be okay to put this in a Christmas special?! And a Smurf Christmas special no less?! Do yourself a favor and STAY AWAY FROM THIS ONE. Basically, Satan is angry that there are good people in the world, so he tries to get revenge by trying to take 2 children to Hell on Christmas Eve. What the smurf does that have to do with Christmas?!If you’re brave enough, the special is on Youtube. And it’s going to be on Boomerang again at 6:30 PM on Christmas Eve. But seriously, I recommend that you don’t watch it.

Ugh, I think I’m going to watch Baby Smurf’s First Christmas. It might be a nice palate cleanser. And I’ll do the Ghostbusters Christmas special next. I don’t think I can talk about this Smurf special anymore, Merry Christmas guys. Be wary of Satan.

It’s Fucking Christmas

Okay, time to stop using this thing as a venting ground. I’m happy most of the time, but I only post here if I’m feeling down. And that’s bullshit. I need to stop only posting here when I’m having a spurt of sadness b/c then everybody’ll think that’s how I am all the time. It’s Christmastime, I’m at my happiest at this time of year. And one thing that really brings me happiness is CHRISTMAS SPECIALS THAT DON’T AIR ANYMORE WOOOOOOOOOO!!!

My absolute favorite Christmas special is Jim Henson’s The Christmas Toy. Y’know, the one with the stuffed tiger named Rugby who didn’t understand the meaning of Christmas. I watch it every year on Christmas Eve. It gets me misty-eyed everytime, especially that part where we think Mew the mouse has been frozen forever ;_; And Rugby sings something like “Old friend, dear friend, friend who has gone away. I want to tell you *sniff* I love you.” OMG, I got goosebumps just writing that, gets me every time. It’s a really sweet special. If you haven’t seen it, it’s actually on YouTube now:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hDQE2wGmGM But I prefer my 1987 VHS tape with the Kraft commercials. During the commercials, this guy would give you Kraft Holiday recipes. They were really disgusting actually. I think there was one recipe where you mix cheese with brown sugar or some shit, I dunno. But I have fond memories of those commercials regardless. I love the jingle too: Celebrate the Season with Kraft. Classic

I have lots of other Christmas specials I love too. Here are some of my all time favorites (excluding The Christmas Toy):

Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

A Muppet Family Christmas

Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street

Pee-Wee’s Christmas Special

The Little Drummer Boy

Garfield’s Christmas

Annabelle’s Wish

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (of course)

Ghostbusters Christmas: X-Mas Marks the Spot (it is SO ridiculous, my next post will be a review of this)

Noel

Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas

Small One

Frosty the Snowman

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

I KNOW I’m forgetting something, but that’s all I can think of for nowl.

And on an unrelated note, my god it’s 1 AM and the snow plows are going crazy (got quite a bit of snow today and it’s still going strong.) Dang, I’m going to bed now, g’night guys ^_^

I’m Much Better Now ^_^

I’m so sorry if my last blog post was a little alarming. I’ll admit it: I had a depressive episode for most of this week. But I’m a lot better now. I think it’s mainly due to the fact that I worked at the animal shelter yesterday. Petting dogs really IS great therapy😀 And I got a lot of kisses!! It was awesome. It was so great that I wasn’t even bothered by the bad driving of others on the way back ^_^ My god, feeling like you’re making a difference and being appreciated for it is a huge moral booster ^_^

I was also considered to co-teach a course next semester, which was a huge honor. I’ve never been considered to do something like that in my life, so that was pretty awesome. I unfortunately can’t do it b/c I’m gonna be really busy next semester, but I’m still going to take the course. my prof wants me to give him a bibliography of some of my literature. I wrote down 4 titles, and I’m going to give it to him on Monday. This is gonna be SWEET!!

I’m also kind of worried about my senior project, b/c I’ve run out of sources and desperately need more. I’m going to a library at one of the large state schools this weekend, so that should help. I may need to bring a change of pants, b/c I might cream myself when I see the sources there (I know, TMI, sorry.)

Basically, I’m writing this b/c I want the people who were worried about me to know that I’m much better now. I feel like my normal self again, and I hope it stays that way for awhile. I’m okay with average annoyances that come with college (that’s what she said?) but I’m not okay with the debilitating stuff (and it took me off guard b/c I haven’t felt like that in over a year.) Luckily, that looks like it’s mostly done with. Thanks to all of you who showed your support. You have no idea how much it meant to me ^_^